The Irish Thug

Halfway through the alphabet, so why not take this time to have one off post before continuing on.
As a disclaimer, this doesn’t have anything to do with Rounders and only touches on the Suburban aspect. But it was that or I call it Throckmortan, and that would have just been weird.

SuburbanRounders

Evan: Ok, now that we ordered the food let’s get this game started.
Will: Aren’t we gonna wait for Max or Paul?
Patrick: I talked to Paul, he can’t make it. John said he might be late, but would bring people if he showed up. And Max wasn’t online.
Will: Did you call him?
Patrick: I don’t have his number. But you can call him.
Will: … I don’t have his number either.
Evan: Why do I hang out with you guys? Ok, let’s just play a quick freeze out and see if John shows up.

Will: Must be the Chinese. That was fucking fast. But then again it doesn’t take that long to cook cat.
[Will opens door] Will: Umm, did you come to the door and forget to bring the food? Nice play squinty eyes.
Men Nguyen: What? I’m here for the poker tournament. The buy-in is $300, right?
Evan: Well, we were thinking more like $10. Wait, what the hell are you doing at my house?
Men Nguyen: Someone told me that I could get CardPlayer Player of the Year point for playing here.
Patrick: Can you get some other people to come?
Men Nguyen: Are you kidding? Who in their right mind would drive to a random New Jersey suburb for a small buy-in poker tournament.

—

Will: Raise.
Patrick: This isn’t Limit dumass, you have to say how much you are raising.
Will: Fine, I raise to …
Patrick: I fold.
Will: Ass.

—

Patrick: Call.
Will: Call.
Evan: Raise to 200.
Men Nguyen: Call.
Patrick: Well, I probably shouldn’t have limped, but what the hell.
[Flop comes 5h 9c Jh] Patrick: Check.
Will: Check.
Evan: Pot.
Men Nguyen: Fold.
Patrick: Fold.
Will: Call.
[Turn comes 7c] Will: Check.
Evan: All in.
Patrick: JOEY!
Will: I don’t know. On the one hand, I’m not getting close to the right odds. But on the other hand sucking out would be +EV. I call.
[Evan shows 9h 8h. Will shows 8d 3s and has 3 outs to a chop.] Patrick: I had a 6.
Will: Awesome!
…
[River comes 6s] Men Nguyen: Owned.
Evan: Why are you still here?

—

Patrick: Raise it up to 200.
Will: Fold.
Men Nguyen: Fold.
Evan: Call.
[Flop comes Qh 5d 6s] Evan: 400.
[Patrick thinks.] Patrick: Add a thousand.
Evan: Another thousand.
Patrick: All-in.
[Evan thinks.] Evan: I call. I have King, Queen
[Patrick looks blankly at the cards.] Will: Queen, Jack! Queen, Jack! YES!!
Patrick: I hate you guys. I’m going home.
Will: Can I get a ride home?