The Irish Thug

Yesterday Evan, Will and I went to play in a casino for the the first time. I know everyone says it, but these things really are perfectly engineered in order to 1) not let you out, 2) give you no concept of time, 3) feel very very comfortable.

Moving on to the reason we were there, Poker. The room was really nice. Chairs and tables were very comfortable. The chips were heavier and slicker than I am used to, and thus chip tricks had to be limited. Most of the dealers were nice and talkative, made a good environment.

So I ended up playing for about five hours. At about 30 hands per hour, that puts me at a very exhaustive 150 hands. Based on that number, my win-rate was a staggering -233bb/100. Yes, you read that correctly, there is no missing decimal that is supposed to be there. Based on the way the hands ran, I honestly think that many other people loose a lot more if they ran as bad as I did.

First big hand, I get AT in early position, probably 4 people to the flop. A8T, SHIP IT, HOLLA!! I don’t remember the action, but after the turn it is just me and one other guy. I think he min-raised the turn, but either way, I know he thinks he has a good hand, but as we just started, who knows what that means. I get to showdown cheaply from there and he has 88. Wasn’t I supposed to be broke there?

Some more hands pass. I remember that c-betting isn’t worth it at this table. I get TT in EP, 2 people call my raise. Flop is AxA, I bet and get one caller. He has Ax a lot, but I didn’t worry about it as I don’t have many chips. My assumption was correct and I have to reload.

I get AA in EP, 4 callers. I’m sorry I suck at remembering the board, but I got 2 callers on the flop. Something in my head says to check, this is followed by a big bet and a push. I scratch my head and muck, they were both ahead of my pair.

I have T8s, x9J I call a bet to see the turn. Q, Ship it!! I bet and call when I get raised. T, I check call and am pissed off when he shows KT. I thought the river sucked, but it saved my stack.

I get 22 in EP, 80 billion people see he flop. 28Q, Ship it, Holla!! Bet, Raise, Push, Call. He shows QQ. This is the same guy that had 88 earlier, won the hand where I folded AA, and had the KT.

I go for a walk to check on Evan and Stewie. We have lunch and head back to the tables.

I have JT and the flop is QTx, I call a bet. J, I raise when the guy bets again. J, SHIP IT, HOLLA!!! Bet, raise, push, call. He shows QJ. At this point I’m pretty much just laughing.

I buy-in for another 50 big blinds, and basically sit on that for another hour or two. J4 in the big blind, we check around a J high flop. J, I bet out and get 1 caller. The talkative guy at the table says I’d have to be a genius to have a J. I get called on the river by a guy who just back-doored a flush. More nothing, then I get 88 vs a raise on my right and I push my short stack. He has TT and I’m done for the night.

Slot Machines. I didn’t understand them before I went and having each of us trying $5 on them, I understand them less. They are not entertaining. They are not fun. Half the time there are so many line possibilities that you only know that you win when the machine tells you. I thought the nickel slots were bad, then I saw the penny slots.

Actual Themes Used for Slot Machines

• Summer Carnival
• Frog Flip Flop
• Secretes of Africa
• Keno Plus
• Sea Monkies
• Dick Clark’s Rocking New Years
• That Girl